Ben's Birth Story

Ben's story is the most familiar - the most memorable. It was so exciting. Here Aaron and I were, a couple of kids really, making a transition into responsible adults who had to care for another person. Exciting, but terrifying. This is a long one - get comfy.
First, convincing Aaron that it was time for us to start a family too a lot of effort. He had just started going to school with a long road ahead of him, and was trying to work also. I was teaching, and directing shows. We were busy, and happy. Aaron had a hard time seeing how a baby could fit into our time schedule. We started to learn there, though, that when you pray about something that you KNOW the Lord wants you to do, you're probably going to get an affirmation. So we prayed.
I remember sitting in a restaurant one evening for dinner, when Aaron took my hands in his. He told me that he had been praying, and that he felt like I was right, and that it was time for us to start our family. He said that he had this image of a little girl in ponytails - ready to come down and join us. We laughed, and joked and said that she got her impatient streak from me. :)
Um, it took no effort at all to get pregnant. We were in Phoenix visiting my family when I realized that I was late. However, I was NOT about to start speculation among my family members. Aaron and I headed back to Houston, giggling about getting a pregnancy test as soon as we got off the plane. We went to the nearest Walgreens to the airport and took the test that next morning. We were so excited about our little secret!
I was hesitant to tell anyone at first. I didn't want to jinx it, I guess. I think I was about 11 weeks by the time we told our families. They were thrilled! We had some bills we were trying to pay, and we needed a new car - mine had been destroyed in an accident in the spring. So we moved into Aaron's parents' garage apartment to save some money. I'm not sure that we actually did, though - we ended up going to dinner almost every night!
Aaron and I were super anxious by the time the ultrasound came around. We had to sit and wait for a while - it made me crazy! We were so wound up by the time we got in there. And when we were asked by the ultrasound tech if we wanted to know the sex, both of us KNEW that she was going to say girl.
But she didn't.
I put on a smile. Aaron grinned at the thought of HIS boy. We finished up and got out to the car. I called my mom and told her, and quickly got off the phone. And I started crying.
I know. It was ridiculous. I blame the hormones.
We got back to Aaron's parents house and I went straight into the little apartment and got into the shower - ignoring Aaron's mom who was pressing for answers. Aaron went and talked to her. I sat in the bottom of the 3' X 3' shower for at least a half hour. When I got out, Bobbie Jo was banging on the door, demanding that I come out. She was fighting mad that I had upset her mom - not processing that her mom was upset just because I was upset. Aaron took some time, and tried to diffuse the situation, despite Bobbie Jo's vocal threats. Ugh. I hid and went to bed early.
By the next day, I was fine! I was having a boy and it was good. He was healthy. And I could handle it.
Not that much later, Jessica gave birth to Elijah. It was fun to have a brand new nephew, and to know that in a mere 5 months, I was going to be the one with an adorable baby to love. Four days later, the Twin Towers came down in New York City. It was horrible. I sat in my classroom for the next couple of days wondering what kind of world I was bringing a child into. Had we made a mistake? The feelings of dread and angst were miserable.
Aaron had a very sweet way to show me how excited he was that I was carrying his child. He fed me. Every morning, he would make me breakfast as I went out the door. He would make dinner every night - and always foods that I loved! I gained over 60 pounds while I was pregnant with Ben. Ridiculous.
I ended up having 3 baby showers. Jessica threw me one with all the ladies from church, the family friends, and a few friends from the singles ward. My mom and sisters came from Phoenix to be there. The teachers at school threw me a shower. Then, some of my drama students got together and threw me a shower at one of their houses. I felt so loved - and we had so much stuff! It was fantastic to be so prepared.
Ben was due on February 14th - Valentine's Day. I was in the middle of teching the senior musical, "Guys and Dolls". It was a huge stressball! The director kept changing what she wanted, my help wasn't helping as much as I thought they would, and I was exhausted. My feet were huge, and moving around was becoming more and more difficult. I saw the doctor on a Friday before the show went up and fell asleep in the waiting room. Then, when she asked how I was doing, I ended up in tears. And she told me that I was done with the show. It was such a relief, but I felt horrible. It wasn't fair to disappoint these kids that I had known for years for this baby that I didn't even know yet.
So Monday came. February 4th. I taught, and then headed to rehearsal. I talked to the people that I needed to - making sure that I had backup. I set up the last details, doing my best to cover all the bases of the show. Finishing sound and light cues. I was at school until after 7.
I came home, and Aaron asked what I wanted for dinner. We had grilled cheese and soup because I wasn't feeling that great.
I woke up the next morning and headed to the bathroom, as usual. When I was finished going, I sat there and realized that there was still dripping. I called for Aaron, and he didn't know what to tell me. So I got on the phone and called Jessica - from the toilet. "What exactly does amniotic fluid look like?" She said, "You need to call your doctor!" I sat there and thought, "Naw, there's just a little trickle - I could still teach..." Then, Aaron told me to call the school, and tell them that I was going to need a sub. I finally got up, and decided that we should probably go to the hospital. Aaron hurried around, getting ready and gathering our stuff. I stood in the closet, staring at the clothes for at least 5 minutes when Aaron came in. "What are you doing?" "I can't figure out what to wear..." He handed me his basketball shorts and the Phoenix Suns shirt, and hustled me out to the car.
We listened to the entire Dave Matthew's Crash CD on the way to the hospital. There was a lot of traffic that morning. We had called my mom in Phoenix that morning and hoped that she would make it in time. We got into the hospital and got settled and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And nothing.
My water had broken, and I was strep B positive. But there were no real contractions. So I sat there. We watched a lot of movies. Every single movie had food in it, and I was super hungry - thanks to a small dinner the night before and no breakfast. Not fun. They decided to start me on pitocin.
My mom arrived mid-day. Jessica picked her up from the airport. She was grateful to be there in time. And we sat. And the pitocin levels went up. And nothing really happened.
When they maxed out on that round of pit, they decided to try it again. And there were the same results. No real contractions. Everyone was calling, asking if we had a baby yet. I was super annoyed - I didn't want anyone around - just Aaron and my mom. And I was ready to be done!
About 9 pm, we spoke to the docs. There was some concern because I was strep B positive and my water had broken, about transmission to the baby. But they left it up to me, "We can go ahead and do a c-section now, or wait, and do one in the morning." I said, "Go ahead!" I was SO ready to hold my baby.
Aaron was in a minor panic. He was SO nervous. (But he looked so cute in scrubs!) My mom was bummed that she couldn't watch the birth, and worried for me and Aaron. I was a little dazed - I hadn't read that section of the book! It was a little surreal to be wheeled into a room on a table with your arms tied down and blue curtains all around you. I could see the docs just over the top of the curtain that was at my chest. I remember these 2 women diving into my abdomen and watching their muscles flex and they were moving things around to fish out this baby. I remember that they had to pull part of him out from under my ribs. Aaron was almost giddy, and terrified at the same time. They showed me my boy just over the curtain, and I was a little grossed out. And, it was less than 10 seconds. I wanted to examine him, but he and Aaron got wisked away while I got sewed up.
I remember sitting in post-op with the nurses trying to move me. I couldn't help as they tried to lift each of my legs individually. I felt like I was shaking like a leaf - my teeth were chattering - but I didn't feel cold. Aaron and my mom got to come in and see me, and tell me that Ben was perfect. Finally, I got moved back to my room.
I sat awake, mostly, because I really wanted to see my baby! They said that they would bring him in from the nursery after a few hours, and I was waiting. I was so glad when the nurse finally brought him in, and I got to see his fingers and toes, his sweet cheeks, and his fuzzy little head. Then, I went to sleep.
And that is how Benjamin Martin See came about. :)

Alex's Birth Story

Alex's story is probably the most spotty of my memories. Because of Aaron's leaving and teaching, well, the memories aren't all pleasant - and I have tendency to block difficult memories. So here's what I've got. Please feel free to comment, and correct me!
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We moved to Phoenix from Dallas in June of 2004. Aaron had just graduated from UT Dallas, and had gotten into Midwestern University for medical school. We had just signed up for the Army to pay for school. Ben was 2 1/2, and I was teaching at a charter school. We had bought our first house and life was seeming pretty settled.
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Alex was planned and came pretty quickly. I remember helping the drama club set up for the Halloween dance and I fell off the ladder. I called Aaron laughing - I was fine - just nervous. He happened to be at my mom's house at the time, and that's how mom figured it out. I found a great doctor, and things were good.
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Then, it came time for the ultrasound. First time, no dice. I remember walking out of that building SO MAD! Yeah, sure - I had a healthy kid - BUT WHAT KIND OF KID??? Luckily, I was able to get a second ultrasound and we did find out that she was a girl. And my doctor decided that a second c-section was the best option - so I got to pick her birthday. This was important because the Army insisted on Aaron spending 6 weeks in San Antonio that summer. (We didn't know this was a blessing at the time. The course now is much longer!) So I finally got my Alexandra - and she would be out for a whole 10 days before daddy had to leave.
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However, we were stuck on her middle name. Nothing seemed to be right. I liked Amidala - Aaron thought it was too trendy, and ridiculously Star Wars-y. He liked Elizabeth - but I just didn't feel it was right for her. We were lying in bed one Saturday morning and Ben crawled in with us. We flipped on the cartoons and were discussing the middle name issue. Ben said, "I like Aurora - like from Sleeping Beauty." Aaron and I looked at each other and said, "I like Aurora too." And it stuck.
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As the end of the school year grew closer, I directed "Steel Magnolias." The drama club threw me a baby shower - and the kids were really cute. My sisters threw me a shower, but there were just a few ladies from my ward who came - Aaron and I were in nursery and didn't know too many people. Some old friends showed up though, and we ended up with tons of really cute girl stuff.
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I was so careful with my day's off at the school, and saved them all to the end of the year. Aaron was done with school, and I took off the day before I had her. We spent the day together, and bought a new carseat and had lunch. That night, we dropped Ben off at Grandma's house for a sleepover and got everything ready for the hospital.
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We arrived at the hospital on June 2nd, and without much ado - Alex was born! She was 8 pounds, and had the roundest little face! We called our friends and loved ones. Randomly, Auntie Peanut was traveling to California and happened to be there to meet her first niece! Ben came up to the hospital with Grandma, bringing a Build a Bear dressed as Princess Aurora. He was so sweet with his new baby sister.
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We brought Alex home and before we knew it, Aaron had to leave. I cried as he left us for the airport that morning, and was miserable. (Now, I mostly blame that on my recovering hormones.) We spent lots of time at Grandma's house, but it was so hard to be away from Aaron. It was a big surprise when Grandma arranged for him to come home for a weekend.
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We did do some fun things while he was away! We painted Alex's room Tinkerbell green and Heffalump purple. We undressed all of Grandma's Build a Bears and played dress up with Alex - even with the Buzz Lightyear costume. And Alex took her first swim, naked, of course, on July 11th. The pictures are beautiful. Aaron came home at the end of July and we blessed Alex in August. She got to meet Nana and Pawpaw, Auntie Bobbie Jo and Jared. Not long after that, we took both her and Ben to Sea World in California. We were so happy to have our two kids, and to watch them grow!

Thinking about Christmas...

It's November!
It's our family tradition to make a list for Santa around the beginning of November - right after Daddy's birthday. (Which was very nice - we went to PF Changs with the whole family and enjoyed mountains of Chinese noodles!)
This past Saturday, we had a family date to Toys R Us and Cold Stone Creamery. The kids were under strict instructions that we were not buying anything - just making lists for Santa. They were only allowed to put 10 things on their lists, and there would be no "Gimme, gimmes" or "You HAVE to buy this for me"s. They were awesome, and really concentrated on what would be their 10 things.
So without further ado, here are our lists.

Dear Santa,
We have tried really hard to be good this year. Here are the things we would like for Christmas! Thank you!

Ben's list
1. Lego Hagrid's Hut
2. Lego Wampa Cave
3. Lego Emperor's Shuttle
4. Lego Atlantis sets
5. Lego Hero William Furno
6. Lego Space Police Lunar Limo
7. Ben 10 figure set of Wrath and 6/6
8. Ben 10 Ultamatrix
9. Ben 10 Armadrillo
10. Ben 10 Ultimate Humongasaur

Alex's list
1. Swan Lake Barbie and DVD set
2. Disney's Tangled 2 ft long wig
3. Disney Princess makeup
4. You and Me Baby Doll
5. Barbie Newborn Baby Doctor
6. My Little Pony Mermaid Castle
7. Webkinz Amazing Hamsters
8. Paper Jamz Guitar
9. Wipeout for Wii

Audrey's list
1. "We Did It!" Dancing Dora doll
2. LalaLoopsy doll
3. Sweet Surprise Strawberry Shortcake
4. Polly Pockets
5. Dora Puppy game for the Wii

Side note for anyone actually looking to purchase anything for my children:
Ben is easy. Legos and Ben 10. Also, he's growing like a weed. If you are buying pajamas or shirts, go for a size 12 (he's in 10s now). Alex has been more difficult. She's all over the board. Please don't get her makeup! She's wearing 6X size clothes right now, and size 12 1/2 shoes. Audrey is easier - she STILL loves Dora! Santa has already found some PPockets for her. Audrey is wearing 4T clothes, but if you buy her pants - make sure they have an adjustable waistband - she's so skinny! We're going to be in Salt Lake for 4 months this year, so they can all use warmer clothes - like sweaters and sweatshirts. :)

Happy Halloween from our little monsters!

We had our ward Trunk-or-Treat last night! We had a great time, played with friends, ate too many goodies, and got lots of candy. Happy Halloween!

Audrey's birth story

I've decided to take some time and write out each of my kiddo's birth stories. And since Audrey is the most recent, she's first. After all, you all get to be privy to my thoughts here - but this blog is really for me. :)

Audrey was well planned. Alex had been a super grouchy baby, and a very serious little girl, but she was pretty easy to deal with. She was getting closer to two, and we were getting closer to the end of medical school and moving. I didn't want to move with a newborn, but a baby would be okay - so I convinced Aaron that a third would be a good idea.

It took 4 months of trying. I get frustrated easily when things don't go exactly as I plan, and I was actively watching the calendar - counting down months until we were moving. Seriously, one more month - and I would have postponed her until after we moved.

We were excited that she was coming. That summer, we went camping to the Grand Canyon with Sissy and Robby and their boys. It was fun to see their wonderment, but not so fun to go camping while pregnant. The next week, we headed to Hawaii for 21 days of fun in the sun while Aaron completed an Ortho rotation at Tripler. I was tired - but the hotel had cable - so my 5 year old and 2 year old were easily entertained. And I wasn't about to let pregnancy keep me out of the ocean! I mentally told myself that fat old ladies still put on bathing suits - so I'd be fine. Haha. We had a great time.

Like a week after we got home from Hawaii, we had the ultrasound scheduled. Thankfully, we found out she was a girl on the first try. It was easy that she was a girl - we already had all the stuff. Officially, she was due on December 24th - but with a scheduled c-section, she came 12 days sooner - making her birthday fit into my numbers schema. A little neurotic, I know.

That was the semester of babies! Katee was in Florida working at Disney World, popping popcorn. Cousins Collin and Abby came within 2 days of each other in September. Jenna arrived at the beginning of October. 4 cousins in 4 months. My mom was in baby heaven.

Her name was a challenge. I wanted something different, a little unique. We discussed "Olivia" for a while, but when Aaron's mom called her "Ollie" it was all over! I kept mentally thinking something with a "D" - but no girls names with D really appealed to me. Aaron really liked Elizabeth (my middle name), but after being called "Sarah E-lizard-breath" by my teasing dad -I was against it. I was drawn to Audrey - after Audrey Hepburn, one of my favorite actresses ever. We endlessly debated on "Audrey Elizabeth" or "Elizabeth Audrey".

Some of the ladies at church threw me a little baby shower. It was intimate, there was only about 10 of us there, but so nice. We met at Wildflower Bread Company - yummy - and hung out for a while. Even when it's a "repeat" child, it was nice to have some new stuff. I got the cutest little Santa dress, hat, and booties for her that made perfect pictures for her birth announcements.

The night before we took Ben and Alex over to Grandma's house. Auntie Heather and a tiny Jenna were going to stay with them when she was born. We had discussed with my doctor my mom's desire to watch the surgery. He cleared it with the anesthesiologist, and allowed me to have 2 people watching. Mom was thrilled, and promised that she wouldn't pass out or get sick. :)

We found out a couple of days before she was born that the 12th was going to be residency match day. Holy cow! The pressure was on! The night before we had to head to the hospital, Aaron and I were beside ourselves. This decision was our lives for the next couple of years! What if he didn't get ortho? What if we were sent to Georgia? Or D.C.? Or Tripler? We couldn't sleep, so we sat up playing Lego Star Wars until like 1 in the morning. I headed to bed first. I was awakened by Aaron coming in, jumping on the bed, saying that he made Ortho and we were moving to El Paso. What a blessing to know, to get what he wanted, to be able to plan! We got dressed and headed to the hospital.

It snowed early that morning. In Phoenix, if you get snow, it melts as soon as it hits the ground. But we did see flurries as we drove to the hospital.

Dr. McKernan had been on call the night before, so as we got comfy, he downed a RockStar. :) (This is particularly humorous to me as I watch my husband bring home super-caffeinated beverages for this very reason.) My mom arrived at the hospital, and everyone gowned up. The OR was cold and I remember shivering as they were getting ready to put in the spinal. They laid me down, got me draped, and called in Aaron and my mom. My sweet husband was an old pro in the operating room, and discussed meds with the anesthesiologist. My mom was fascinated. Dr. McKernan opened me up and before he cut into my uterus, he ran his hand over it and said, "She has a full head of hair." We were expecting a big baby (Ben was 8 lbs 11 oz, and Al was 8 lbs), but out came this skinny little girl - 6 lbs 15 oz! Aaron followed our girl, taking pictures, and mom said, "She has red hair!" and stayed to watch them start to sew me up. Then, before the doc was finished, they shuffled them out to follow the baby to the nursery while they cleaned and stitched.

I ended up in the recovery room for a while. I guess my temp had dropped too much because I was kept in there longer than an hour under warming blankets. Aaron and my mom kept peeking in at me, but were focused on Audrey. They finally told me that she was having some trouble breathing, nothing too serious, but that she wasn't pinking up like she should. They said that sometimes that happens with c-section babies. It wasn't too long before both of us were in the room and settled. I did have a reaction to the morphine and ended up with a super itchy nose. I bruised it a bit from itching so much! A little benadryl worked to clear that up, and kept me doped up for a few days.

It had been a long day already! We had phone calls to make - not only to tell everyone that we had a baby, but that we had gotten the residency we wanted. So exciting! It was a good day, and by that afternoon, we were both out cold in the room - exhausted from all of the excitement.

And thus, Audrey entered our family. :)

The Extra Mile

Tonight, Aaron is on call,and I am tolerating a wicked sinus headache.
Today was Sunday. We didn't get to church until after sacrament meeting because there was just too many of us.
Did I mention that Heather's kiddos are here?
And so I have 5 kids at my house? Under the age of 8.
Her husband won a trip for 2 to Hawaii. Can you really blame them for going? I would!
And I volunteered to watch the kiddos.
Several of my friends have asked why I volunteered to do this at this point of being pregnant.
I am enormous, by the way. 32 weeks today.
My best answer is that I love my sister. And even though she keeps telling me about eating Dole whip, snorkeling, and enjoying the surf - I still love her. I am insanely jealous as I deal with her adorable, yet occasionally whiny 3 year old, and her smily, teething, picky-eater of a son, but I love her.
I think she knows this.
I need to go to bed. I have 5 kids to wrangle in the morning. :)

Our Garden!

"The prophet said to plant a garden, that's just what we'll do!" This spring, our ward's Relief Society taught about square foot gardening. Also, in Cub Scouts, Ben started growing a sweet potato vine in a jar. Aaron and I discussed it, and we decided to plant a garden this year. We were hesitant - after all, it was approaching June in El Paso. We planted zucchini and squash, carrots, a tomato plant, a pepper plant, basil, a geranium that I had acquired from a baby shower, and Ben's sweet potato from scouts. It was fun to see how quickly some of those plants grew! After a while of patient watering and weeding, we had squash and zucchini! Ben's sweet potato started branching out and creeping out of the box. At the end of July, that darn sweet potato plant started taking over so much room from the other plants. My mom had mentioned that her grandmother had a sweet potato vine growing outside of her house. A vine means lattice work! So off we went to Lowe's for lattice. There was so much vine at that point that we had to trim it down. It was incredible to us that we were pulling off pieces that were as tall as Aaron!

Our garden has led us to some neat recipes! We have decided that we like zucchini seasoned and grilled, but zucchini bread is our favorite preparation. Homemade pesto is easy to make, and wildly delicious! We have baggies of it in our freezer.

The squash plant is now falling out of the box, and some of it's leaves are taller than Audrey. But the sweet potato vine was an enigma. Above ground, it was growing like wildfire, and the plant was heavy on the lattice. I have been so curious as to what was happening underground!

Until today. :)

Last night, we had a pretty good windstorm. The lattice fell over and was squishing the other plants. Because it was so heavy with vines, it was really hard to put back up - and Aaron and I decided that we would need to cut it back. In the process of breaking it away from the lattice, I urged, "Just pull it up, Aaron! I want to know what's under it!"

And this is what we found!

Aaron just kept pulling them up! There were 15 little (and not so little) sweet potatoes hiding in that dirt! The kids and I were stunned! How cool is that - that a Cub Scout sweet potato in a jar would have flourished so much!

So guess what's for dinner tonight?

:)

Snow

Aaron is going to study pediatric orthopaedic surgery at Primary Children's Hospital and Shriner's Hospital of Salt Lake City from February 1st to May 31st, 2011. And we're going with him! (Only because I can't bear the thought of being apart from him for 4 months.)

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However, the thought of me and my desert rat children dealing with snow has recently sent me into some small panic attacks!

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"When I was younger, we would wear our boots to school, and bring our shoes in our backpacks. We'd change shoes when we got to school, and repeat the whole thing when we went to recess."

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Seriously?! This whole idea is so foreign!

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My friends asked the other day if we had cold weather stuff. I said, "we have coats..." "But what about gloves, scarves, hats, snow pants, etc?" And therein begins my panic.

I don't want to invest in "good" stuff - we're only using it for 4 months - and by the time we could possibly ever use it again, the kids will have outgrown it.

Luckily, I have a guru of cold weather who moved her desert rat kiddos to the wilds of SLC a little over 2 years ago, who is a wealth of good advice. I would gratefully appreciate any advice on cold weather I can get! Do you have something to share? Knowledge is power!

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I'm still a little nervous. Did I mention I've never driven in snow, either?

Labor Day weekend

This weekend, we took off for Phoenix. We left El Paso around 2, at maybe 90 degrees, and pulled into Phoenix at 9:30 pm and 100 degrees. YUCK! I don't miss that heat!
We got to go to the temple on Saturday morning, and ducked inside IKEA for a few minutes. It was busier than I have ever seen it! However, in the As-is section, they had my set of dishes that I love - minus one small plate and $5 off. Sweet.
When we got back to my mom's house, my amiga Emily came over and my sisters and I got our hair done. The kids and the dads swam happily for 2 hours! Then, Aaron and I went out for my birthday dinner a few days early - at Morton's Steakhouse. Absolutely delicious!
It was nice to hang out and talk and relax - without the pressures of El Paso life around us. No thoughts of work, or laundry, or anything normal.
Blissful.
:)

A Loss in our Family

About a week ago, we lost a dear friend.

Eight years ago, we brought home our very own barbeque grill. Propane (just as Hank Hill likes it), not too much money, but a wonderful investment. My dear husband was thrilled at it's arrival. Now he could cook delectable delights the way he really wanted to!

That little grill traveled with us to Phoenix in our U-haul. It suffered a few dents and dings, a few Arizona summers, numerous tanks, and then a move to El Paso.

But after eight years, parts were breaking, parts that were not replaceable on an older model.

So we laid to rest our dear friend, and last night - brought in a new grill, after a good deal at Lowe's. :)

With a grin like that, you'da thought it was Christmas.

Alexandra's First Day of Kindergarten

Ben starts 3rd grade this year. Alex is in kindergarten, and once she saw the kids, she was JUST fine. Audrey was excited that mommy AND daddy got to escort her back to the car. Thanks to Dora and Elmo, she hasn't even mentioned the kids.

And it's just Dodge and me until Quattro shows up in December!

Sheesh.

So it's not our fault that Peanut picked October 9th to be married. (We ARE thrilled for her, and happy to be going - just we did not have a hand in picking the date.) It's also not our fault that the Lord decided that this baby needed to come in December. It's also not our fault that there is department policy that states that each resident take 7 days of holiday leave in December. And we weren't the ones that decided that this class of residents needed to have 4 as opposed to the 5 that the other classes all have. And we are not the "powers that be" that have understaffed this location.
But apparently it is not okay to take 19 days of leave in one three month rotation.
Good grief.

Parenting Lessons: Courtesy of the Simpsons

There is an episode of the Simpsons where Bart really, really, really wants to go to the Itchy and Scratchy movie. Then, he is supposed to watch Maggie but she escapes and sets the car loose on a local prison. Homer puts his foot down, and Bart's punishment is not getting to see the movie. Bart dismisses it, saying, "I'll watch it another time."

Homer enhances his punishment - you won't see it - EVER!!!

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Recently, my kids have had too much summer. They are arguing, talking back, ignoring me altogether - you know, the usual kid stuff. I'm at my limits.

Aaron is the self-proclaimed "King of Empty Threats." He threatens to take away tv (a punishment more for me than the kids). Last night, after the third time of telling the kids to sit down on the couch for their Phineas and Ferb episode, we turned it off. Ben dismissed it with a, "It's being recorded - I'll watch it off the DVR later." oooh. naughty.

Aaron told him that it was being deleted.

The tears flowed.

My boy would not eat dinner - he was too sad.

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Today, Alex has a birthday party to go to. It's Saturday - that means job day. After being assigned her task for the morning, she whined. She pleaded. She tried to hide. She got mouthy. She screamed at me. She cried. And that was all before 11 am. She fought with her brother. She yelled at her sister. I told her she was tired and needed a rest if she wanted to go to the party. She screamed at me, kicked her feet, and cried some more.

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So at what point do you take that beloved thing away - for good?

Like a sponge

They soak up everything around them.

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Back in the spring, I got my sister to put some popular music on a cd for me. Alex had heard Taylor Swift's "Love Story" and was trying to sing it all the time. Auntie Katee had the music, along with some other Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, and other pop songs, and put them on a cd for us to listen to on our epic 7 hour drive home. They loved it!

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I realized before too long that some of the music was a little more questionable than others - and I did supervise the song selection. I guess I just hoped that my kids would gloss over some of the words, and really pay attention to the chorus - or not pay attention at all!

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I discovered the depths of my WRONGNESS when I first heard Audrey singing Lady Gaga's "Pokerface." Not really a bad song - but on the lips of your 2 yr old - definitely questionable. Then, ads for the movie "Marmaduke" came out on tv, using Ke$sha's "Tick Tock" song - another song choice on the cd. Now, the chorus is a fun hip-hop dance beat, but the verses leave a lot to be desired. When it came on in the car, half the time, if they weren't paying attention, I would skip the song altogether. Other times, I would turn the volume down during the verse and ask them a question. But they heard, "Boys try to touch my junk, I slap 'em if they're getting too drunk." Oy. But thanks to Marmaduke, it was still getting requested in the car pretty regularly.

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Alex, my brilliant 5 yr old, pipes up today.

"Mom, Tick tock isn't my favorite song anymore. I don't like the junk part."

"Then we won't listen to it anymore, Al. I think that's a good choice."

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And that was my excursion into popular music. Mistake number 786 with my children thus far. What do you regret exposing your children to?

The Pros and Cons

I'm feeling frustrated today. Residency is taking it's toll. I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant, or if it's just the normal grind.
For 3 months at a time, I deal.
Aaron works at two different hospitals. They each have their pros and cons. I always think of the pros of moving to the next one - forgetting that the first 3 weeks at a new hospital is an adjustment. Here's the details. Mostly for my benefits.
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Hospital 1
Pros: Seeing fewer patients in a day
In general, he's home for dinner.
We can usually get things done, even during the week.
On call nights, he can come home and often deal with business from his computer at home.

Cons: Fewer patients means less surgeries. Less surgeries means less happy husband.
The general incompetence of "lesser trained" support staff.
On call nights, I have no idea when or if he is coming home. I can't get a babysitter if I need to do something - he might come home.
He might have to get up in the middle of the night and answer that stupid pager for the 18th time. (general incompetence)

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Hospital 2
Pros: He gets to see some really cool stuff.
He's happy because he gets to operate a bunch.
He sometimes knows what is going to be on the late night news, before it's on.
When he's on call, I just know he's not coming home and I can prepare myself and the kids. If I have something to do, I can get a sitter.
When he is post call, he gets to come home early. He's supposed to be out at noon, but it's usually more like 2:30. Still early.
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Cons: The place takes over. Rarely is he home for dinner. If there's something going on, it takes precedence - even when he said that he could come home.
On call nights, he doesn't come home. I don't sleep well when he's not in the house. Every little noise freaks me out. I'm getting better - but it's not good yet.
When he comes home early on post call days, often he's so exhausted that he can barely stand up. Then, he'll take a nap for an hour or so. He's still a zombie, with a low tolerance for anything.
He barely has time to send me a text message letting me know he's alive.
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Now I don't need the comments about how much money we'll make eventually, and how it will all be worth it in the end. I know all that.

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I'm just saying that right now is difficult. I'm adjusting, but some nights are more difficult than others.

Personal Responsibility

*This is directed at no one person in particular*
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I've noticed that so many of my posts lately have been about what we're doing, and not about what I'm thinking.
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I want you to know that I AM still thinking. :)
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Recently, I have been thinking a lot about personal responsibility. Aaron's parents were here last week. His mom and I were talking about my brilliant children, and she said something to the effect of, "Mothers want to take care of their children and make sure that they have everything that they (the moms) never had." (I hope that was close enough mom...)
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I thought about my kiddos and the things they have. Seriously, my kids are happily spoiled by grandmas and grandpas and aunties and uncles that adore them. They have nice clothes for play, school, and church. They have more toys than they know what to do with. They have cable TV, a Wii, and delicious food to eat regularly. They get to go out and do things - like go to the movies.
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Neither Aaron nor I grew up with a lot. (We regularly joke about who was poorer as a kid.) But we never lacked for love, attention, food, or clothing. While we may not have had the best clothes, or the latest toys, we were dressed in clean clothes and always found ways to have a good time. And we were never hungry.
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Then, I thought about when it was time for me to go to college. I am the oldest of 6 kids - and with 5 kids still at home, my parents didn't have money to pay for me to go to school. They helped me fill out the forms for financial aid, and helped me to take out loans.
But I didn't get it.
I finished my first semester with 3 D's, 1 B, and 1 C. Not pretty. And I went on academic probation. Even less pretty. What can I say? I was 18, just out of the house, and I had a lot of fun.
I digress.
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When Aaron and I got married, he had only been home from his mission for 6 months, and was getting ready to go back to school. In the retrospective wisdom of a newly-graduated, under-paid teacher who had just gotten the coupon book to start paying off those loans, we signed him up for classes at a community college. Primarily because it was close, but the cost was a big factor.
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The point is:
Too often, I see a lack of personal responsibility in this world. Everyone is trying to get out of their problems by blaming it on other people. It's not my parents' fault that I have a mountain of student loans. I was the one who decided to go to a university, and not community college. I was also the one who didn't work as hard as I should have on my classes.
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As a mom, I don't just want to give my children everything. I want to teach them that hard work and perserverance will bring them success. I want them to realize that things have a price. I want them to realize the effects of their choices. I don't want them to grow up expecting me to take care of their every problem.
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For example, when I was like, 10ish, I remember my mom wanting me to finish my dinner - specifically my lima beans. I don't like lima beans. I remember having to sit at the table until it was well past dinner time to finish my lima beans. (I am not faulting you about this mom.)
When my kids don't want to eat something on their plate, I remind them of our family rule that we don't get seconds until your plate is clean. Also, I remind them that it is their choice about when they are done with dinner, but that there is no more food until the next mealtime. And I stick to it. I'm so mean.
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Ben has been asking to go see "The Last Airbender" at the movies for like 2 weeks. Aaron and I decided that he could clean and vacuum out my van to earn the trip. So today, he and I camped out in the garage - and he worked. And he whined about the fact that it was hot. And he had to go inside to get a drink 4 times. And he had to redo the seats because there were still crumbs. But with a little yelling and redirection and prodding and reminding, the job was done. Ben earned his movie.
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I know that everyone has circumstances. There are some things that that we can't change. But we deal with it by working hard and making the best of things - not by blaming others.
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And down I come from the soapbox.

June Pictures

It seems to be a rare moment when I have the camera and the computer in the same place. So here's catching you up for June. :) Alex had her 5th birthday. We had some friends from church over and had a little water/Aloha party for her - complete with the slip and slide in the back yard. She's getting so tall!

The girls drying off after some water fun.

Ben being a shark at Biggs Water Park. The water is about 18" deep, and there is a water mushroom, animals you can climb on that shoot water, and a couple of slides. It's free, too!

Alex was invited by a friend from preschool to come to soccer camp! She is so tough! Al will chase that ball all over the field, and then come home with a, "Mom! I have to show you all my tricks!" Audrey is sad when Alex gets to play and she doesn't. Or when Allie is out of her line of sight. "I miss my sister!" I have this foreboding feeling that kindergarten is going to be hard on Audrey.

Next week, we are headed to Phoenix for Aaron to suffer his last week at the County Hospital alone, and for us to escape to air conditioning and the swimming pool. :)

Uncanny

Last week, Ben and I went to the Orthodontist. He got xrays and molds taken to prepare for his palate expander. Then, we had lunch, just the two of us, at Taco Cabana. Awesome.
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The Ortho's office called this afternoon. He would like Ben to lose 3 more of his baby teeth before they can put in the expander. They have sent Ben's xrays to our dentist's office, so he can have those teeth pulled. Ugg! I thought. More money out of my pocket. But it needs to be done.
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Tonight, we sit down at dinner. "Ow!" says Ben. "I have a tooth that is really really loose."
I reply, "Well, go in the bathroom and wiggle it and get it out."
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Thankfully, due to a little extra diligence, Ben just saved me one third of the cost of extraction! I think this warrants a little extra from the tooth fairy... :)

Reactions

Kids are honest.

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I am 12 weeks pregnant with kiddo #4. Thanks, we're excited.

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We have been deliberately not telling our children. There's so much that can happen in the first trimester, and 40 weeks is a really long time.

But with almost all of the adults around us knowing, I've been worried about someone slipping up and spilling the beans. And, with it being #4, it's becoming more and more obvious. (Although, I doubt that the kids actually notice my size... not yet anyway, but I'm noticing!)

So we told them tonight.

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Audrey said, "I get to be a big sister!"

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Al started rubbing my tummy.

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Ben said, "I think you're joking."

We assured him that wasn't the case. He started to cry. He was trying to be strong for a minute, but it wasn't working. After a gentle "What's the matter, Budda?" - and a bit more crying, he asked, "Why?"

"Ben, Dad and I prayed about it and we just felt like our family wasn't complete."

He covered his head with his blanket.

Finally, "I just thought our family WAS complete."

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I hope he gets used to it by December.

:(

What?!!!

Seriously, I have written 2 deep thoughtful posts and as soon as I hit publish - they disappear. What's up with that? Maybe the Lord is working through technology to tell me that I need to wait to divulge my soul.
Hmmm...
Ok.
Here goes.
I'm pressing the button...

Betcha you missed this...

Did you notice that my last few posts haven't had pictures?

I'm sure you were dying to see my cute family...

Spring Break overnight trip to Albuquerque. This is the ABQ temple. It's layout is exactly the same as the Houston temple. That made my speedy dash in a TON easier!

After the temple, we went to this really cool aquarium.
This HUGE fish kept looking at my kids.

Ben was entranced by the sharks.

Audrey on Easter Sunday. We made a quick trip to Phoenix to meet my new nephew, and it was easy - thanks to General Conference.

We set up a fun Easter egg hunt in Grandma's backyard.

As the beginning of April started up, the weather got warmer and the kids were begging to go outside and play in the sprinklers. They had a blast, and went to bed early.

(Aren't they getting tall?!)

Audrey went in the water for just a minute - and promptly declared it too cold. Smart kid.

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There. You're all caught up.

For now, anyway. :)

I think I need a bigger plate...

Mine is too full.

Right now, I am still doing preschool, and trying to be patient while waiting for Aaron's bosses to decide when/where we get to go for the 3rd year Pediatric Orthopedic rotation. I don't do patient well.

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I've built this great business - and I have mommies asking about next year already. It's really stressing me out.

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Aaron went back to the downtown hospital - back to 80 -90 hour weeks, back to not coming home when he is on call. This is day 6 - of the next 3 months. We already know he is missing Ben's 2nd grade PTA concert. That's crummy. He was on call last night. I finally got to sleep just before 2 am.

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I am serving at church as the Laurel advisor - which I am loving. I have also been called to help with our stake's pioneer trek. I am in charge of the activities for 150 kids. It is going to be incredible, but I am a little overwhelmed. I know that I just need some time to sit and process each step. It's a lot, and I just haven't been able to dive into it.

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Aaron and I have projects that we need to work on/through. Nothing too hard, but we need to sit down and take care of it. And new things keep coming up that cost just a little more. I was hoping to use our tax refund and demolish our credit card bill. I just don't know if that's going to be possible. Another little frustration.

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I'm complaining.

Sorry.

I have wonderful blessings - let me tell you about some of them...

1. I have wonderful children. Ben's teacher adores him and is so pleased with his progress. He wrote this awesome essay about our spring break with detail and good structure. It was incredible.

2. Audrey has been getting ear infections, and kind of in a whirlwind - she got tubes in her ears. Everything went well, no complications, and she hasn't been complaining about her ears. It happened so fast that I didn't really have time to worry.

3. We got to take a weekend and go to the temple in Albuquerque. It was really nice to escape. A night in a hotel (with an indoor pool!), a visit to the temple, Red Robin for lunch (there's not one in El Paso), and a cool aquarium. It was a relief, and it brought a lot of peace to moments of chaos.

4. Again with the whirlwind trips, we packed everyone up and went to Phoenix for Easter weekend. I was SO GLAD to visit with my family - I wish it was longer - alas. Ben, Al, and Aud were excited to meet their new baby cousin, Ammon Jacob. Jenna, Rose, and my kiddos hunted Easter eggs in mom's backyard. We had fun, despite the 14 hours of driving and the flat tire.

5. I have a wonderful husband who loves me, supports our family willingly, and is an amazing man.

6. We are healthy, and, for the most part (we DO live in El Paso), we are safe.

7. I am grateful that in this time of difficulty and violence, I have a knowledge of Heavenly Father's plan for us. I know my Savior lives, and that he suffered and died for me. I am grateful for the healing power of the Atonement.

Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!

In retrospect...

I'm sitting at our stake's women's conference right now without paper - big mistake - and I had some thoughts.
* "Be of good cheer" - We were just reminded by our speaker to enjoy life now. Too often we are thinking about what we look like, how we aren't quite perfect, and all of our inadequacies. We need to just stop and enjoy life.

What a kick in the pants! I spent months and months thinking about my anniversary cruise and worrying that I wouldn't look good in a bathing suit, that I wouldn't be dressed right, that my husband wouldn't be reminded of how cute I was 10 years ago.

And the most important thing was that I got a moment to spent time with my husband and enjoy myself. He's been standing beside me for 10 years - no matter how good I looked or what I had accomplished or where I had erred. And had I spent the time worrying about what I looked like or who I was impressing - I wouldn't have had near as much fun.

We went dancing on the ship. We ran around the waterpark at the Atlantis resort like kids. I got to pet the dolphins! What an amazing time we had! And with such a fantastic man!

I am so blessed!

10 years is a long time...

I haven't had too many things for ten years.

The clothes I wore 10 years ago don't fit.

The shoes I wore 10 years ago are out of date.

I've gotten rid of most silly, childish trinkets I had 10 years ago.

But 10 years ago, I picked up this goofy guy. A newly returned missionary, with big hopes and dreams.

And we fell hopelessly in love.

10 years ago, we got married.

Since then, we have achieved a few degrees, 3 darling children, a few pounds, a few wrinkles...

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And last week, he took me to the Bahamas...

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It was heavenly.

10 years ago, I thought I knew what loving someone was like. I thought I knew how amazing and blissful and excited and wonderful marriage was going to be. After 10 years, I have a much deeper understanding that love is more than that. My husband is one of my greatest blessings.

Ben's Baptism Weekend

Guess What? Ben turned 8. And made the choice to get baptized. Super exciting!

We are so pleased with his decision!

It is wonderful to see him start out here, and end up here. Happy Birthday kiddo! We love you so much!

The Boy

Did you know that the month before a boy turns 8,

he is invited to the Cub Scout pack meeting?

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Did you know that this month's Pack meeting was the Pinewood Derby?

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Well, it is!

Aaron and Ben have worked on Ben's car off and on for the past month. Some extra parts from Hobby Lobby, a brand new uniform, and an already-loved Scout handbook completed the night for our boy - and he was so excited. He completed his race with a fastest time of 2.88 seconds (we have a brand new computed run shiny track), and won the award for the Most Innovative Car.

("Mom, what does innovative mean?")

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His eyes were gleaming as he said,

"Wow. I'm really a Cub Scout!"

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And by the way...

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frustration

*i love my employers. the kids and the parents are fantastic, and they are wonderful friends. however, my husband's employer is temporarily cooler. he's is in phoenix, at a conference, in a really posh hotel, having meals (really nice, fancy meals), brought at overly regular hours with snacks (DOVE ICE CREAM BARS!) provided. he went swimming in a heated pool tonight. hanging out with his friends - and not having to worry about anybody but himself (directly - he still worries about us at home).
*i'm jealous*
we had hamburger helper for dinner. with green beans. i cleaned up the kitchen. now i'm catching up on several hours of tv shows on the dvr.
my friends have invited me out twice. i don't want to pay a babysitter.
i asked aaron when i get to go on a business trip all by myself. he quipped, "when your employer pays for it." i love them, but i could never ask them for that.
*i still would love the escape. especially tomorrow morning, after i've been up too late tonight.

Welcome 2010, etc.

Happy New Year!
Some updates:
1. Christmas at our house was delightful. Aaron had the whole week off and spent it JUST being dad & husband. After 3 months of working downtown, we were thrilled to spend time together.
2. Santa was good to us this year! Some highlights include: Aaron's Bluetooth headset, my new phone that I am currently blogging on, Ben's Ben 10 toys, Alex's red boots, and Audrey's wagon and Dora toys.
3. Aaron is back at the Army hospital and we are all enjoying having him home. (Mostly because he gets to make dinners!) He will be at WBAMC until the end of March.
4. Ben will turn 8 in February - which means two things. He will be baptized on Feb. 13th at the Redd & Resler building (you are welcome to join us!) and he gets to join Cub Scouts. His first Scout Pack meeting is the Pinewood Derby. Aaron is already plotting ways to manipulate the car.
5. We have been released from Primary! I was called to be the Laurel advisor. I haven't done much yet, but I am looking forward to camp this summer!
6. I offered at the beginning of the school year to help the school PTA with their Boxtops for Education drive. As soon as the contest ended, the lady running it moved. So guess who is the new Boxtops Chairperson at Ben's school? This girl. :)
So 2010 has given us a whole new collection of opportunities. Stay tuned for new adventures!